Monday, June 30, 2008

How To Check Your Sexuality

Today was the Euro 2008 cup finals. Unlike other guys, I'm not the least enthusiastic about it. Sad to say I'm not interested in watching 22 man running around a box in a field chasing after a ball.


(Got 2 already still not enough arr?)

While other guys are staying up late, screaming their lungs out and wetting their pants at the sight of 20 man(not including goal keeper) trying to kick a ball in between two poles with a net at 3am in the morning, I am sleeping soundly on a bed with noise pollution in every single neighbouring direction.



The thing is, I'm not a 'kaki bola' and I don't fancy watching football. I used to get teased that I'm not a man because I don't watch football.



Whats worst, I can't take alcohol, can't drink caffeine and dislike football badly. Even sometimes I myself wonder if im a guy since I dislike the stuff mentioned above as most guys love them.

Not knowing your sexuality is bad, really bad and definately worst than Anwar's sodomy case.





After all that have been said and done, if there are other people out there just like me and are really confused about their sexuality, have no fear, adventerror.blogspot.com is here with the greatest way possible to check your sexuality. No, you don't need to play/watch football to prove that you have 'balls' are a man.

All you need to do is unbuckle your pants......



Look down.......



and scream!!!



If you really did scream you are of the opposite gender because, as if you hadn't see what's down there everyday.

To the ladies out there don't hesitate to try this method as it works for both boys and girls.

This community service message was proudly brought to you by adventerror.blogspot.com

Friday, June 20, 2008

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Gets Going

Open Day is the most dreadful day of a students life. Im pretty much sure alot of us would not like the idea of our parents going to school to have a 'cup of tea' and as well as picking up our 'death certificate'.


(Click to enlarge)

Nothing is as terrifying as to see your parents enraged due to the shortlistings you've made. Especially when their eyes starts burning, smoke comes out of their ears and nose, a volcano errupts right out of their skull and all of a sudden they take out a lightsaber 'rotan' and chases you around the neighbourhood.

sparta 300 my name is earl jason lee

Not to mention when your teacher speaks blaesphemy such as "Your son murdered a mosquito in class, he should be charged for murder and animal cruelty". Sometimes, their remarks can be downright ridiculous.

24% gred 9G - Ada potensi
and when your parents question you, all you have to do is give them the innocent look and everything will be settled, since were angels at home but devils in school. So they'll most probably believe you.

Angel-Devil

I still remember the conversation I had with my dad on the way to tuition.
Dad: Why your marks so bad? Especially maths.......
Me: Emmm.......... no comment.
Dad: Last time when I was in school I was top in maths.
Me: Sry la. I hate maths.
Dad: You cannot hate maths. Maths is important
Me: I got other subjects to back me up.
Dad: Other subjects are not as important as maths
Me: Well, were living in Malaysia. So BM is equally important. Care to explain why you failed BM?
Dad: BM not important out of Malaysia mah
Me: Why are you still here then?
Dad: Because I like lor
Me: =.="

Monday, June 16, 2008

Scammed by Giant Hypermart

I hate grocery shopping, especially when I go here...



Somehow I never do trust Giant. Their "Lowest prices in Malaysia" motto is really arguable in the sense that their prices is not as low as the kedai runcit I always go to near my place. I still think Tesco provides cheaper goods than Giant.

Since Giant was the nearest hypermarket around my area and I needed some stuff for CF camp so urgently I had no choice but to bump in at Giant and grab a few stuff with Julian. Going to Giant was our last resort, especially since petrol prices had increased. It would be too much hassle, a waste of time and money(petrol increase) to go all the way to Tesco in Mutiara Damansara just to get stuff by a few sens cheaper, but It was rather ironic to see this on the way.......



No damage, no abnormalities, good car but no money to pay petrol izzit? The owner of the car must be very tulan but that's what you get with the drastic hike in petrol prices. I don't think I'll be surprised to see a Ferrari or a Porshe get towed away next due to no money to pay fuel.

Continuing from where we left off, as we reached Giant,we got what we needed like eggs, flour and other personal stuff like my pants.

Now tell me if the pants below here is worth RM54.90



and before you start shooting at me for being an idiot for choosing an expensive pants. Let me assure you that I was imagely scammed by a big sign that says...



and after being scanned at the counter the price oh-so-magically shoot up to RM54.90. That's just ridiculous, who in this round round world would actually buy a 'cipalak' pants for RM54.90?! Pasar malam's could do better if you ask me, cheap, affordable and not-too-bad quality. The eggs that we bought was labelled for RM5.00, but God knows what black magic occurred and it suddenly became RM6.00.

I couldn't be bothered to argue with the cashier lady as there was a long queue behind. So half heartedly I had to pay for the pants though it was price labelled wrongly.

After that I went in again to find Julian. After we got we needed, we checked out at the nearest cashier and that's when hell broke loose. The prices were inaccurate and we ran off budget. But luckily I came prepared with a discount voucher.



Cashier: Semuanya RM25.39 (All together RM25.39)
Me: Boleh guna voucher ni? (Can use this voucher?)
Cashier: Tak boleh la, RM50 ke atas jer boleh guna. (Cannot, only RM50 above can use)
Me: Har???
Cashier: Baca kat belakang (Read the back)
Me: !$%&^#$*@

So much for a life saver. Not to mention that was the last day it was usable since it expires the next day and it was only issued 2 days ago. I felt so cheated and if things continue, we might have to wash dishes for them. Somehow managed to get my dad to loan me a few extra bucks.

Nevertheless, I hate Giant. Their prices are high and they scam alot. With that said I'll never acknowledge Giant as the 'Leading Low Prices In Town" as they claim to be. I think this suits them more..........

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

How To Save Yourself From Exam Results

After the holidays, the period of time that students dread the most has arrived. After all the partying during the holidays, its about time we get back to reality as we receive our exam results.

I just hope that none of the teachers would invite my parents for tea with them. If that ever happens, that's one tea I know my parents wouldn't enjoy and im pretty sure I wouldn't get away with my 2 failed subjects which so happens to be their favourite subject which is called maths.

Yes, once again the legacy continues as I failed both Mod Maths and Add maths. You people must be thinking how stupid I am to be able to fail Mod Maths since its the easiest subject to score out of the 10, but I assure you that any subject that is related to maths im bound to fail no questions asked. That explains why i semi-failed physics since there was maths in it.

So how am I going to save my self from my 2 monstrous parents who would bite my head off for failing both maths subject? Well, I've been doing some research and I found this very interesting letter. So to all those people who are in the same league as me, this is really gonna spare you the anguish of your parents if you had the guts to write this.

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

'Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad,
none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home


Now, I wonder if that would work, but I do know it'll buy me some time before I officially get a Jalur Gemilang tatooed across my butt.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Good Bye Old Friend

It's been raining heavily this days. No one had expected something so tragic could happen to a young 16 year old. No one had anticipated this. Its hard seeing the people that we once knew leaving us so suddenly at just a tender age of 16. Shows that our life is as fickle as the flame of a candle which can be put out any moment.


Farah Hani (1992-2008)

Though we may not have been very close in primary school, you were a friend to me and I regretted that I wasn't close to you. It's too shocking for me to handle this. You were a great friend to many and you would be dearly missed by us all. Though I may not know the details of the accident, but I have no choice but to accept your loss. May you rest in peace.

~Life Goes On~